This was sent to him via e~mail yesterday.
You know we've been through a couple of years full of stress, questions, insecurity and fear but never once, not even in this last week, have I regreted that it's you I'm married to. Please don't ever question that~your the only man I want in my life, my bed and my heart. I think we forgot for a little while that not only are we husband and wife but that we are friends and can (and should) question each other, support each other, kid around, play with, joke with and enjoy each other. I don't need roses and romance (it's nice every once in a while though) to be happy or secure~ I just need to know that we are in this life together for better or worse. That you'll always be faithful and that you don't regret that it's me that is your wife.
This questionable friendship with Tammy shook me to the core. Everything was fine here so I can't understand why you would do this. You've lied to me about it from the start. She wasn't texting you on her own- you persued her and are attracted to her. You weren't discussing what woman want or any of that crap you tried to make me believe because we weren't having trouble. You intended to cheat, I know that. Maybe your bored or have a delayed 7 year itch complex, whatever. You were going to sleep with her and you had to break up with her. That's why you were begging me not to contact that whore. The only reason I haven't kicked your lying- cheating ass out is I can't prove you actually fucked her.
I'll be upfront here G, I'd rather you divorce me than cheat on me. No, I'm not asking for a divorce- I don't want a divorce unless you fucked her. I'm telling you what I can live with and what I can't. If you decide in the future that someone takes your eye or is simply better than me in your eyes. Don't cheat- ask me for a divorce. I'd rather be hurt and still respect you than embarrassed, humiliated, insecure, devestated and hating you. I would hate you but more than that I would hate myself because I wasn't enough.
I can't say these things to you without crying or looking pathetic. I spent this whole weekend looking pathetic and weak- I won't break again- so I say it to you here. I love you, your my whole world~please don't put me through this again. I can admit here, in black and white that I'm just not strong enough to take it.
K
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